by Jonathan Reisman

Goin' to the chapel and we're

Gonna get married

Goin' to the chapel and we're

Gonna get married

Gee, I really love you and we're

Gonna get married

Goin' to the chapel of love

“Chapel of Love” by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, and Phil Spector. The Dixie Cups, 1964 

Love and marriage, love and marriage

Go together like a horse and carriage

This I tell ya, brother

Ya can't have one without the other

“Love and Marriage” by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen. Frank Sinatra, 1955

I may not always love you

But long as there are stars above you

You never need to doubt it

I'll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you

“God Only Knows” by Brian Wilson and Tony Asher. The Beach Boys, 1966

Well, then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?

Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?

And if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?

Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?

Oh, there is Love, there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain

For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name

There is Love, there is Love.

The Wedding Song (There is Love) by Noel Paul Stookey. Peter, Paul, and Mary, 1969

“A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life”- Irish saying

I am traveling to New Orleans in early March for my eldest son’s wedding. It should be a joyous event, with my younger son serving as Best Man and my future daughter-in-law’s large Southern family welcoming us to their clan. I know that Ernie, blessed be her memory, will be with us as our children take this promising step. Love, marriage, and history have been much on my mind as I search for wisdom and perspective on a momentous life event.

The average age of American marriages has crept up quite a bit since Ernie and I married 45 years ago. In 1979, we were nearly the statistical model and mean- 23 and 22 years old. The 1980 US average was 25 for men and 22 for women, respectively; in 2023, it was 31 and 29, which was actually down almost three years from the high it reached in the late 2010s. The later age of marriage is a major factor in declining American fertility. Millennials and Zoomers have been slow and reluctant to marry, but that trend is reversing in recent years.

Research suggests that marriage is good for physical, mental, and financial health. I know it was good for mine. I will laugh, dance, and cry in New Orleans at Savannah and Asher’s wedding and pray their love sustains them in their lives together going forward.