by Jonathan Reisman

With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and any non-cynics left

'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the House

The lame ducks were plotting, preparing to pounce;

The earmarks were hung on the omnibus with care,

In hopes that Pelosi and Schumer would share;

Angus and Susan nestled snug on the Floor,

With visions of earmarks hung on the door;

And Chellie in her Pingree, and Jared in his flannel,